Tuesday Nov 4th Peer Review

My peer was able to read through my draft and give some important comments and suggestions by the end of class. He commented that I had many great ideas but I was cramming them one after another in my research paper. He suggested that I expand and discuss a few of these ideas in detail and maybe split paragraphs (from one to two) in some areas of my paper. He also commented that I had a very strong introduction paragraph and the conclusion could be better if I could further connect it with some critical examples that I referred to in the paper (or ideas that I had not developed). He noticed my missing refutation paragraph and suggested that I include some positive responses to human suffering as well. He also suggested that I use a quote to finish my paper (in the conclusion) which would make an impact on my reader and get the main ideas across. Overall, he liked the premise of my paper but suggested a few critical but good changes that would only make its impact on the reader stronger.